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Decision Made
I've decided to spend a little more time on this site. I've already neglected many years of writing and months of NOT using 20six as a venue for these very words. Some friends wonder where I find the time to write such lengthy emails that I send every now and then. Well, first of all I only work 3 days a week. Secondly, I do not have young children that I need to take care of, except our 3 family members - Taylor (our black lab), Max (the cat), and Picasso (our toy Chihuhua). Thirdly, I can type fast, and fourth, words come easy to me. I am impressed when I see the many 'blogs' out there where people actually put in daily entries! WOW. I think I'll do that too. As my new found blog-friend, Bright Field just wrote, "We humans seem to have this desire to connect." Well, I guess we are only doing what is part of our NATURE. Afterall, we WERE/ARE all ONE.
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8.7.04 03:36
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JACOB
The word for today is "JACOB". My male counterpart is BACK in my life. He never really left. I just did the most worst thing a friend could ever do and of course he was upset at me. He graduated last December from UT San Antonio and we were invited to attend his graduation. I couldn't make it. I was not able to schedule time off, nor could I find anyone to work for me. I felt terrible. I knew this might put a wedge in our friendship but I didn't know what else to do. I told him though, but that didn't matter. Well, that was past. At work today I checked my email and there was an email from him. Oh, if you only knew how happy I was to see it! I miss Jacob immensely. He was my best friend. Is my best friend. We were two lonely city folk stuck in the armpit of TEXAS. All we had was eachother to cling to and to help fend off the TM's (I won't even tell you what that stands for.) We spent late nights at Denny's, lazering unsuspecting neighbours, partying up in Mexico .. he even let me shoot from his Police Gun (at a firing range of course), drive his Sport Red, Pontiac Firebird 30th Edition from San Antonio to the armpit, and drove me home from Spring Break 1998 - in one piece! I'm just really happy he emailed me and now I can start being a pest again. I love you Jake!
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8.7.04 03:48
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A Golden Opportunity
Everyday that I'm at work I always think that I am so privileged to have the opportunity to care of people. Rosalie is a 75 year old lady who was diagnosed with Left Breast Cancer. They removed it and she had just completed her bout of Chemotherapy. She has no hair and all you could see on her pale white, hairless head were her eyes. Her eyes told so much, held so much emotion and looked to me in such helplessness. I asked her how she was dealing with the Cancer and she told me that she wasn't even going to allow herself to think about it YET because she still needed the strength to deal with the pain of surgery, the nausea, and her change in body image. I spent time with her talking about what she went thru. She said, "no one can imagine what I went thru, no one." I found myself stroking my hand over her baldness. Then I asked, "so what colour WERE you before you lost your hair?" "A dark brown", she said. We smiled.
Bessie is a 95 year old Polish lady who insisted that she was 99 years old, despite the fact that she knew she was born in 1908! I was at her bedside crushing her pills so that I could put it thru her Nasogastric tube. She told me, "You are a wonderful doctor!" and I replied, "I am not a doctor, I am your nurse." "Oh, but you are a doctor, I can tell." I was wearing a lab coat today and perhaps that was where the confusion stemmed. I just had to remark, "I would NEVER BE a doctor. I don't like the hours and I don't like the fact that I wouldn't get to spend as much time with patients." She looked at me and let out this very loud drawn out sigh. "I missed my calling you know...." I asked her what she meant by that. Bessie said, "I should've been a doctor. Now I am a 99 year old lady all wrinkled and dried." I laughed. "Well, if you were a doctor, you'd be a 99 year old doctor all wrinkled and dried." We laughed and laughed and laughed.
Cecil was a 75 year old man with only a left leg, but he managed to pull his bedside commode that was near the foot of this bed, towards the side of his bed and made the attempt to sit his bony butt onto it before I came in and yelled at him. "What in the world are you doing?!" "I'm going to take a shit." "You need to ask for assistance before you do that." Cecil was still trying to get onto the commode paying no attention to my arms outstretched to help him. "WHAT?! You can't help me with my shit!" I had to stifle my laugh, "You got that right. I will NOT help you take a shit, but I WILL help you get onto the commode so you don't fall." We finally got him on the commode safely and then he said, "Ahhhhh, I won't fall .. .. now give me a cup of coffee!" "I'll give you your coffee after you shit and you got that right, it is NOT on my agenda today for any one of my patients to fall. It's too much paperwork and I'm not in the mood to write, and if you fall I'll kill you." Cecil passed a tremendous amount of gas then said, "Ah shit, I'm not gonna shit now .. so get me my coffee already." I asked, "How do you take it?" "Cream with a little sugar."
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8.7.04 04:23
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I'm late, I'm late ....
My fault. I stayed up late last night on the internet as usual so it was extremely difficult to wake from the dead. I finally got up at 6:20 am, took a shower and did the morning routine. It was 6:30 am (yes, I can get ready in 10 minutes, but I cannot guarantee I'll look presentable for society) and I nudged C, "Buddy! Wake up. It's time." The phrase "IT's TIME" only means one thing - IT's Time for you to drive my Ass into work because I am too lazy to take the Metro Rail AGAIN. Normally he would open up his eyes, look around in a daze then proceed in zombie-like fashion to the car. TODAY it was different.
This is the scene:
digital_femme: "Buddy! Wake up. It's time."
C: opening up his eyes and turning his head towards me, "Then go."
I was shocked!
He drove my anyway. He's such a sweetie. Maybe I WILL keep him a little longer.
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8.7.04 04:39
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Something MORE than what it SHOULD BE?
It had just occurred to me, after reading the many other web logs on 20six that perhaps I am trying to make my web log more of a website. Just a thought. I know the font is very small. I realized that after I got into bed last night. My eyes were sore and the room looked blurry. I am anxious to see how much my vision will deteriorate now that I am on the computer even MORE. I am thinking of enlarging the font but it might change the whole look. Hmmm, my space looks far busier than the other sites .. well, so much for web designing. Wonder if this correlates to the space that hold my thoughts? Off to get a haircut.
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8.7.04 18:40
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